Day One: I have control issues

Today started in a rush.  I overslept.  Well no, the truth is I slept on the couch because my kids and husband took over the bed.  I believed it was my day off from drop off duty and was trying to sleep in, however the familia had other ideas. 

We flew out the door unprepared for the day. Dropped the kids off at school and then we were left with ourselves and empty stomachs.  At this time of day Jesse was not on board with my vegan week experiment.  He wanted to follow through on our date day at Scratch, but I didn’t want to waste the time driving there to order potatoes.  After witty debate we ended up at McDonalds where both of us sulkily ate oatmeal.  Here’s where I first felt the familiar tingle of loosing control and the anxiety which comes with it.  I pressed on.  We did some errands out in Monterey and then picked up Ry from school.  We had to pick up Abel some Subway because we had left the house so quickly we didn’t pack a lunch for him.  The entire time we’re in the drive through at Subway I’m just angry.  I can’t even say why, I was just mad.  Mad that I wasn’t getting a sandwich, mad that I wasn’t getting a sandwich with cheese, I was mad that I wasn’t giving myself what I wanted.  Light bulb.

The lunch Jesse made was bomb.  Jesse has skills in the kitchen which he usually uses for evil, but today he’s been a huge help.  Like my fairy godfather of food.       

Snack was a kiwi.  I really should have thought that out.  I left for work around 3:30 and headed over to CVS for a snack.  Again, I could have planned and packed a snack saving time and money, but I digress. I taught a private lesson, a full jazz class and then choreographed with the Performance Team.  I headed home with an empty growling belly and a headache just to round out the day.

Dinner was great despite the headache.  Sopes made from scratch by Jesse.  It was delicious.  I binged a bit when I got home I’ll admit, but it was on grapes, hummus and a corn tortilla.

The end of day one was a success.  I did not cheat and I did not cry which is a bonus.  I did realize on the drive home with my head pounding and my stomach growling that I was not having a hard time with the food selection, I am having a hard time not giving myself what I want when I want it.  I have some internal work to do.  I’m interested in seeing what I learn by the end of this week.